oregon burrito

I went shopping today.

2008-03-20T13:27:00.000-07:00

I really like diet soda.

I was transported to 1995 and realized that we needed to rearrange our living room.

2008-03-19T21:25:00.000-07:00

Hail to the guardians of the watchtower of the North.

dreams and dreams and dreams and dreams

2008-03-19T13:42:00.000-07:00

a few months ago I had a dream where I was trying to pack for winter break and I found this box of ringer tees I had bought at a garage sale. This was the only one I really remember.

http://barackobamaisyournewbicycle.com, whatevs.

2008-03-19T11:58:00.000-07:00

found

2007-12-14T12:49:00.000-08:00

pretentuality

2007-09-24T21:07:00.000-07:00

senior YEEEEEEEERRRRRRR!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOO!!!

2007-09-17T21:24:00.000-07:00

don't kid yourself

2007-02-11T19:43:00.000-08:00

we are not free [range]!!!!!

new mission

2007-01-21T19:45:00.000-08:00

Thanks, Gmail

2006-11-15T18:56:00.000-08:00

For searching through my emails! I can't wait for my Equine Therapy!

Bizzy's Forbidden Comics (posted via Nick in the USA because China hates comics)

2006-11-10T10:10:00.000-08:00

how midterms are going for me

2006-10-11T14:08:00.000-07:00

lucky

2006-10-11T11:02:00.000-07:00

Bullshitting on my new macbook

2006-09-24T14:08:00.000-07:00

The Shits....

2006-07-07T09:38:00.000-07:00

A Space the Size of a Closet...

2006-07-04T11:49:00.000-07:00

um, thanks.

2006-06-23T03:49:00.000-07:00

some random poet at my guru's house:

Bureaucratic jobs rock!

2006-06-16T19:57:00.000-07:00

Pissing contest.

2006-06-16T17:15:00.000-07:00

STUCK IN MY HEAD

2006-06-16T15:16:00.000-07:00

silent WORRIES

2006-06-14T15:05:00.000-07:00

So there we were, hanging out with the One AM Radio, playing silent football. And this was all I could think about.

treasure hunt!!!!@!!!!!~!@~!@!@~

2006-06-13T12:33:00.000-07:00

idiot proof bottles.

2006-06-13T12:31:00.000-07:00

FIGURE IT OUT!

2006-06-13T12:23:00.000-07:00

now is when i start doing the things i say i'm gonna do

2006-06-11T22:29:00.000-07:00

On The Sister's Travels

2006-06-09T11:25:00.000-07:00

fuck, all the comics i was too lazy to draw...

2006-06-09T00:47:00.000-07:00

in the jungle

2006-05-27T19:54:00.000-07:00

how do you know something is true?

2006-05-26T12:05:00.000-07:00

you and i are going to the gas station

2006-05-17T13:51:00.000-07:00

kinesthetically trained

2006-04-24T23:02:00.000-07:00

the body is a beautiful and complicated thing.

on the natyasastra

2006-04-21T14:43:00.000-07:00

Before every performance, offerings must be made: “ghee to Brahma, milk to Saraswati, sweets to Siva, Vishnu, Indra, and others, rice and ghee to Agni, rice with molasses to Sun and Moon, honey and milk to viswedevas, gandharvas and sages, cakes and sweets to Yama and Mitra, ghee and milk to pitrs, pisacas and uragas (serpents), raw and cooked meat to bhuta-sanghas along with wines and spirits and germinating grams.”

The purpose of purvaranga: “The performance of Asravana pleases the daityas, while Vatrapani pleases the danavas. The hordes of raksasas are pleased with Parighattana; while the guhyakas are propitiated by Sanghotana. The yaksas are happy with Margasarita and so are the gods with the songs.

Vardhama pleases Rudra and his followers and Utthapana pleases Brahma. The gods of the quarters are happy over Parivartana and the Nandi pleases the moon. The Avakrsta pleases the nagas and Suskavakrsta the ancestors. Visnu is pleased with Rangadwara while leaders of obstacles are pleased by jarjara. Cari pleases Uma and Mahacari the bhutaganas.”

Fucking what I'm trying to get at is that there is so much care taken to make every one happy, to appease every relationship. But these efforts are valued. The time and energy, maintenance and care, when made a priority will produce divine results. There is value in it.

How does one manage to be a relational being in an individuated society? A process-person in a product-oriented culture? You can’t discuss these values but in a covert fashion—with trusted brothers and sisters of your dismissible cult, you whisper shared wonders and anxieties kept underground.

But often it's easier not to stand up for anything.

I’m not a martyr, I don’t let people walk all over me, I am not too “nice.” I have tried to explain the value of my commitments, but even the quiet listener will utter, through his actions, such horrible accusations as “you seem to have no will of your own.”

Products are created by functions. Maybe mathematicians know this feeling I speak of. The products of complex functions are often elusive, not just difficult to predict but also rare to be observed. The function itself then proves to be at least as meaningful.

My professor uses a gesture for love where she slowly twists a thread out from her heart as though she is spinning twine between two people. It is the most delicate and graceful thing I have ever seen.

reason to hang out with me #8291

2006-04-20T13:10:00.000-07:00

when i find myself liking someone i start to pick on them.

thanks for the self-conscious question, dude.

2006-04-02T23:17:00.000-07:00

(t-rex image courtesy of dinosaur comics.)

just another dream about tie-dye

2006-03-31T17:44:00.000-08:00

i had a dream about my mother and her boyfriend and their upcoming visit. they were wearing this:

family schemes

2006-03-17T09:52:00.000-08:00

inspired by death valley

poor timing

2006-02-19T22:49:00.000-08:00

i hate girls

2006-02-08T11:50:00.000-08:00

only if you cover your face

2006-02-04T11:52:00.000-08:00

a dear friend of ours offered to drum for our band. downside: he also happens to be Mr. Amazing.

don't fret, he has agreed to wear the cardboard box over his head.

give in

2006-02-01T22:51:00.000-08:00

geek-out to wolf parade. it's okay. everyone has permission.

wha' happened?

2006-01-29T13:09:00.000-08:00

my apologies

2006-01-28T12:03:00.000-08:00

i was medically excused from having fun at your party. i got a doctor's note.

what you get

2006-01-23T21:50:00.000-08:00

old ladies and families like to walk around campus on weekend mornings. i don't fucking know why.

the sad, sick godamn truth.

2006-01-11T17:43:00.000-08:00

what to do, what to do...

2006-01-08T01:39:00.000-08:00

dreadfully painful

2006-01-08T00:21:00.000-08:00

we do it better

2005-12-30T13:59:00.000-08:00

it is a strange time. people are getting married, having creatures i mean children, and on occassion our generation hosts a holiday gathering, which usually turns out to be far superior to our parents' attempts at festivus.

exhibit A: thanksgiving at my brother's house.

i was wrong

2005-12-29T19:16:00.000-08:00

i posted in july about "gettin' old." not true.

christmas at dad's

2005-12-26T11:36:00.000-08:00

i like it i'm sorry

2005-12-16T13:19:00.000-08:00

i like my room. my keyboard fits next to my desk and i have lots of pillows for reading in bed. i can keep beer in my fridge and when i stepped on my hole punch and it exploded i didn’t have to clean it up.

my bed’s by a window with a big tree outside. one morning i woke up and there was a hawk sitting there. he stayed for almost an hour.

i like to pick up sushi after class, smoke a cigarette, check my mail, and eat my sushi wherever i please before heading to my next class.

i like studying in the basement of the science library. all the bio, chem, and physics majors leave me alone because they’re all “who are you? don’t you fucking act, or something?”

i like the weird wooden carrels in the main library by the prison-like windows. it’s so serious when you sit in one of those. i can hide behind dusty racks of 1970’s russian metaphysics journals or whatever.

i like the little tables by the window in the dining hall. company is nice, but eating alone is nice too.

i like getting invited to parties and showing up on my own because i know all my friends will be there and i don’t have to worry about finding someone to show up with.

i like the walk home from my friends’ apartment. two blocks is the perfect length for a stroll. almost every time i smile all the way home

sometimes if i’m really fucked up i talk to myself and it makes me giggle

i really like my life, so i get a little scared about how it’s going to be. sorry i’ve been mean.

why ya gotta do me like that, x-mas?

2005-12-14T18:32:00.000-08:00

my dad knows this guy that works for southwest airlines, so sometimes i get some pretty sweet deals on one-way flights.

good fucking thing.

no, parents, christmas isn't awkward this year. yes, i know, no pressure.

won't be needing these.

2005-12-02T14:44:00.000-08:00

no thanks, just flax seed oil, please.

2005-11-13T19:43:00.000-08:00

Good news! I am now navigating life sans mind-altering drugs! In other words, I've weened myself off of anti-anxiety medication!! The world is my oyster! No lack luster here, my vim, verve and vigor has returned!!!!! I am back to my old self:

as you can see, all it takes is a steady stream of pissiness: goodbye to all that lexapro-induced dizziness, no thanks to the "withdrawl shakes" when i miss a dose, no more randomly throwing up when i bend over! Check out these added bonuses:

I'm much funner to go out with.

It's like my mouth has things to say and I have no concious idea what is trying to come out!

And the best perk:

i don't think i'm getting high yet

2005-10-14T06:12:00.000-07:00

don't mind me, guys, i'm just fucking stickin' my arm in this bucket of water i found in someone's backyard. these mushrooms are bunk.

je peut-etre une futurista

2005-10-10T12:13:00.000-07:00

please don't

2005-09-30T12:01:00.000-07:00

please don't drink soda during morning class, it's gross.

professor, i know you've been up since like 5am, so 11:30 is kinda like lunchtime for you. but: please don't wait in the coffee bar line for soda every morning, you are always 10 minutes late to our 50 minute class, and it's annoying.

please don't braid the chunks of your ponytail during class, it's fucking stupid.

please don't double cup your coffee just so you can slowly lift one cup out of the other, and then drop it back inside to hear the thud. during class. when i sit next to you. it is infuriating.

please don't put your SMELLY NAKED FEET ON THE SEMINAR TABLE RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FACE. if not for me, for professor munoz--he looks so unhappy when you do it.

who am i to speak. i am the biggest clown of all smoking cigarettes between class outside the science center where the clean cut kids live. please don't make mean faces at me.

these colors don't run!

2005-08-27T00:37:00.000-07:00

We just returned from our week long excursion through the northeastern states and provinces.

Returning from Montreal across the border, we were asked to pull into the station and our car and persons were searched. I think a lesson was learned here: not all college students are fucking retarded. They did not find what they were looking for (marijuana, which kills children; or alcohol, which certainly never hospitalizes anybody and thus is more or less legal but not for us who are so immature in our youth). They did find some smelly running clothes and rotting grapes.

I have some friends who tell me there's a public park on the U.S. side of the border near Vancouver, B.C. where they have stashed some weed in a bush. They say they won't be making it soon, so if you have the time and are in the area please do take a gander--especially if yours was confiscated.

anxiety attacks!

2005-07-25T14:48:00.000-07:00

i had an anxiety attack after someone's party the other night. i was like, shit, i thought i was all through with this business! i thought that i was having problems socializing. i was wrong. i went to some more parties and just realized that those other kids were staunchy and disagreeable to my palette. everything is cool.

neighbors

2005-07-18T16:31:00.000-07:00

We share the property where I work with a drive-thru coffee hut. It is owned by an eighteen year-old jehovah's witness. No, like seriously, he owns it.

Damn if he isn't the nicest guy ever. He comes in when he's bored and chats about hiking and stuff. I avoid the following topics: gender & sexuality, geology, biology.. etc., etc. It seems to work out.

damn ho(s)

2005-07-17T10:42:00.000-07:00

full of rage

2005-07-16T20:28:00.000-07:00

necessary purchase

2005-07-16T15:06:00.000-07:00

skillz

2005-07-15T16:14:00.000-07:00

getting old

2005-07-14T21:19:00.000-07:00

Introduction
Dude, I am getting old faster than I used to. There are clues all around: I do more "pleasure reading," I have a hard time turning off PBS News Hour with Jim Lehrer, I subscribe to the Organic Consumers Association newsletter and am captivated every word. Sadly, I am on my way. I think this is a positive change, however, transitioning from a hip way of life to a satisfying way of life. This change can be greatly measured in dating habits. Observe:

Materials & Methods

Results

Discussion
Fortunately [inevitably] it has been proven that though start up costs in terms of energy are great--seeking out friends based on more than music and fashion tastes, finding a suitable and fulfilling job, beginning healthy diet and exercise routines, etc.--in time the benefits of the good life greatly drive down costs. In contrast, the cool life requires constant maintenance. Trends must be followed, often reinvented. Friends must shift as dating circles become more incestuous; epidemics of social anxiety disorder lead to a level of assholia that can seldom be tolerated for long.

Summary
I am not 14 anymore, and telling people that Modest Mouse is my favorite band has lost the coolness it had in the late 90's.

on the battle of good and evil

2005-07-13T09:02:00.000-07:00

Life is complex, choices sometimes difficult.

gratitude

2005-07-12T13:11:00.000-07:00

Thank you financial aid office of small private liberal arts college. My grades will surely decline while I am selling drugs to minors on South Street in order to further invest in my education. Your candy dish is nice--much selection.

standardized testing

2005-07-12T01:23:00.000-07:00

long days. many books. strong smells.